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06 February 2011 @ 09:45 pm
It's not that late but I'm still kinda exhausted, my bodies been acting weird all weekend, which is no fun at all, but I'm in a weird, nostalgic, inner-monologue in my head is narrating my life, kinda mood, so I thought I'd write an entry to get all my emotions out.

So I started at my new school on Monday, classes didn't technically start until Wednesday, but because it's a massive intake year (They go from only boys to co-ed in year 10) we had two days of orientation. I am so thankful for music camp (not to be confused with Jazz Camp btw) because I managed to make friends with a group of really awesome girls who even catch the train from my station so the first day wasn't as daunting as I had originally imagined. Although that doesn't mean it wasn't scary. I won't go into details but I think I almost burst into tears on around twelve different occasions in the space of about three days.

Our group is pretty awesome. No guys, but that's mainly for lack of trying than us actually repelling them (well, that's what we hope). However there is this one kinda weird kid who doesn't really have any other friends but made friends with Jess (who doesn't really sit with us anyway) and we all met at music camp, and he keeps either a) leaning awkwardly against the pole that's in the area where we sit (awkward corner) and then randomly walking away when we ignore him, b) just wondering past us about twenty times over the space of one lunchtime or c) awkwardly standing around the corner.... I know I used awkward a lot of times in that last sentence, but seriously, this kid is soooo awkward.

Anyhoo, enough about our stalker. Brendon has officially become my PGNB. See, at first he was just, "The guy from Jazz Camp" and then he became my "Not-Boyfriend" and then I told my friends a bit more about him and now they all think he's gay, so then he became my "Possibly Gay Not Boyfriend" which was then shortened to PGNB. Which at first it was fun to joke about and stuff, but now it kinda depresses me because even if he was/is/will be gay, I really like him a lot and you can only make light of a good situation for a short time, and now every time he's mentioned I get a bit bummed out. We still facebook chat every night, and text sometimes, but I miss him heaps.

Helen leaves for Canberra on Saturday, we're going up with her and seeing some of mum's old friends so it'll probably make for a fun weekend, but I'm freaked out about how much I'm going to miss her.... I'm hoping something will happen fandom/internet-wise or school will get super busy so I can just submerge myself in it for a bit.
I Feel: gloomygloomy
I Hear: The First Five Times - Stars
22 January 2011 @ 03:14 pm
Jazz Camp was amazing. I have never had such a fun week in my life, seriously. I'm kinda having withdrawals, feeling kinda down because I'm not with everyone anymore, so I'm listening to Scouting for Girls to try to get in a slightly more upbeat mood. I try not to think about him, because it makes me super excited, until I realise that I probably won't see him for another year...

Onto other things, Skins US, I liked all the original scenes that they added into the pilot, the one with Stanley & Cadie at school and the one with all of them in the bathroom cubicle, plus the characters Tea & Cadie (who are either completely new or quite different to the original) so although I'm not "OMG!! BEST TV SHOW EVA!!" yet, I'm hoping the next episode, which is all original stuff, will make me love it even more.

I'm just about to watch Being Human US, not sure how I feel about it yet, thinking it'll be like Skins, with me liking it more the more original stuff then add.

I'm finally coming to realise that I only have a week until school starts, and the point of the 'holyshite-newschool' emotional roller coaster that i'm on is the 'run around in circles freaking out because you are so scared that everything is going to go wrong' point, and I'd kinda rather just spend the rest of my life sitting on my bed, reblogging funny things on tumblr and laughing about inside jokes with my Jazz Camp friends on facebook.

I need a new pair of heels, a new ipod, to calm down, to do some ironing, to stop thinking about him and to add some more stuff to my collage wall
I'm At: bedroom
I Feel: worriedworried
I Hear: Famous - Scouting for Girls
09 January 2011 @ 01:26 am
I'm in a writing mood, but not a creative mood, and that leaves me with one choice, write about facts. So here I am, blogging away at one in the morning.

I went shopping with Helen today, we got up earlier than usual (ie. 9:30) and I attempted to spend all my Christmas and birthday money. Some new denim shorts, How I Met Your Mother s4 and nail polish. I've never really worn nail polish in my life apart from the couple of times I've painted my toenails this really pale pink, but I really want to try it, because it's the summer holidays and I have nothing better to do. I got some super cheap orange stuff (seriously, it was on sale for $1 a bottle) which I'm put on my toes this afternoon, still getting used to looking down and seeing it. I also got some more expensive stuff in a kinda dark plum and then this metallic almost lead coloured stuff, which I might try out later on my fingers once my nails are a bit longer, and I have the guts to. (NB to people who don't know me: I'm a coward)

I got accepted into Jazz Camp, so I'm super psyched about that, I'm treating it as a bit of a test run for February when I start my new school, throwing myself in the deep end with people I don't know. I'm a little bit nervous though because I know there are going to be some amazing singers there from all around Australia (in the info stuff they sent me there's this paragraph on getting taxis to and from the airport to the camp) and my ability to "be a good singer" comes more from my ability to perform than from my ability to hit the right notes and I know that a lot of the kids there doing voice are actually going to be proper technically flawless singers.

Eh, enough worries. I am super excited for new Skins. UK more than US, just because the UK stuff will be entirely new, and I know, the US is going off on it's different stories and such, but I know that the beginning will be pretty similar to Skins 1 so part of me isn't as excited as I am for Skins UK.

My pre-Skins 5 predictions/opinions (may contain spoilers just because I've been lapping up every bit of, possibly spoiler-filled, news available and this is all musings based on what we know)Collapse )

So that's all of them and I should try to sleep now. Goodnight to my loyal (most likely non-existant) readers. Might looking into a new LJ theme tomorrow... to reflect my OMGWTFBBQ!!!I<3SKINS!!! mood.

Oh wow. it just started raining.
I Feel: restlessrestless
I Hear: cicadas
05 January 2011 @ 08:42 pm
I'm feel really odd right now, but somehow it's in a good way.

I cleaned out my room last week and got my dad to paint it. In the process I managed to move my furniture around so it's exactly the way it was when I first moved into the house, except instead of my second bookcase, I have my desk. It's really weird because I haven't had my bed facing this way in five years, and in those five years I've done so many things, and completely changed as a person. So it's just kinda strange being back this way,

I'm also in a kinda limbo at the moment, my whole family is. Helen starts university next month (even if she doesn't know which one) and I'm starting at my new school, but there's still a month of time to kill before anything happens, at least Helen's trying to visit all her friends before they go away, so she's got some more purpose than I do, but pretty much all my friends are overseas, so I'm just kinda floating hanging onto all the excitement I can find, which at the moment is get excited for new Skins eps (US & UK). It's weird being stuck in this middleground. When I was in Hong Kong, a friend of the people we were staying with who also came from Sydney, asked me what school I went to, and there was just this silence where I sat and wondered what I should tell her. I couldn't say my old school, because I don't go there anymore, but I couldn't say my new school either, because if she started asking any questions, I wouldn't have been able to answer them, because I don't really go there either.

I'm doing a thirty days of tv meme on tumblr, just to try and get used to my new graphics program (CS2, but before you laugh, understand that it's a big step up for me as I used to make graphics on PS elements 5) I've already put up a day, but I've made three days worth of graphics. I'll probably just stick them in the queue if I end up going to Jazz Camp, hopefully they'll still accept my application even if it is a bit late.

Happy 2011, I hope I can make it a good one.
I Feel: mellowmellow
I Hear: The Way to Celebrate - Winter Gloves
16 October 2010 @ 09:40 pm
So many good things are coming, trips overseas, musicals, parties, dance concerts, music camps, new schools, but I feel like someone's built this massive bridge between now and then, and that bridge is the exams. And you see, it isn't one of those nice bridges that you can walk, skip or run across, this one has a strictly enforced speed limit and a big sign that says "bridge under repairs, come back five or so days."

I feel bad every time I start to get excited for those things on the other side of the bridge, when I catch myself planning the clothes I'm going to wear on the plane or fretting about the size of my scarf for my dance solo, because I have to be using these extra hours to prepare myself for the painful journey across the bridge, and anyone, I can deal with those things on the other side when I get there, when they come.

Once the bridge is opened, and I can start battling my way across it, I'll be fine, I'll jump every hurdle, dodge every obstacle, and before I know it, I'll be enjoying all those lovely things on the opposite bank, which now are just teasing me, flashing in the summer sun.

But for now I sit in limbo, in a waiting room full of anxiety and Greek vocabulary, counting down the days until someone takes down the sign, and we can start this painful trek.
I Feel: anxiousanxious
I Hear: Samson - Regina Spektor